Utility?
It chairs. That’s the utility. What more do you want, a whitepaper?
SIT. HODL. CHAIR.
Security?
Bank‑grade sittergy. Unrug‑able because there’s no rug. Only chair.
Community
If you can identify a chair, you’re in. Meetings are standing‑optional.
Tap for Deep Deep Lore
In the ancient era of Block 0, when wallets were paper and gas was basically free, there was a lonely folding artifact in a forgotten break room. Legends say a Dev once sat during a deploy and achieved 100% uptime. The chair absorbed the commit history, learned the sacred art of merges without conflicts, and began to spin — slowly — calculating the optimal angle for vibes.
Every moon cycle, the Chair chooses a new sitter. The chosen one receives the S‑tier Posture, which grants +5 focus, +12 meme power, and resistance to bear markets. Do not seek the Chair; simply approach, nod respectfully, and it will know if you’re ready to sit.
Economics? Irrelevant. Roadmap? It’s a loop like the gif. Utilities? The Chair is the utility. You either get it or you stand forever.